On occasion, I find myself with a potential client who has made the decision to consult with me to discuss divorcing his/her spouse, yet they want to make sure this is the right decision. Such a decision is deeply personal and should be evaluated in detail.
For many individuals the action of sitting down with a divorce attorney to discuss his/her issues is a monumental step. This meeting came after hours and hours of thoughtful study and a considerable amount of research, evaluation and debate. For many people this is the final step in their personal journey of wanting to dissolve their marriage. For others, the consultation is the realization that they are not ready to divorce their spouse. As an attorney I have a duty to engage in some reality testing with potential clients and current clients to facilitate a thorough conversation to benefit their decision on how they will manage the issues that are impairing their relationship with their spouse.
In actuality, there are many individuals that are not committed to the idea of getting divorced. For these individuals the process is uncharacteristically difficult because they are pursuing an outcome that they do not desire. I’ve declined representation numerous times and provided information regarding marriage counseling, family counseling, therapy and other means of assistance that would serve the person and his/her family much better than initiating divorce proceedings. When a simple question is posed, “Have you and your spouse engaged in counseling/therapy?” I often get a response that the other party would never engage in counseling or therapy. I follow with, “Have you asked them?” to which I often hear, “No.” After the completion of the consultation I inform the client that when the time is right we can discuss moving forward with a divorce but right now you are not ready.
If you marriage is on the brink I encourage you to communicate with your spouse if you have a desire to resolve your differences prior to filing for divorce. If you want information regarding options for marriage counseling and family therapy please do not hesitate to contact our office. Additionally, if you determine that your marriage is past the point of reconciliation then you need to file for divorce; doing so is the right option at this point, you did all you can to preserve the marriage and it is time to move forward with your life.
For more information on marriage counseling, therapy, family counseling or divorce please contact the Law Firm of Schwam-Wilcox & Associates.